*chirp chirp* *chirp chirp*

When I stated in my very first blog post here that this one was going to be a keeper, I have to admit that at the time I meant it. Seeing that I made that post over 3 years ago, I don't know what happened, nor will I care to make any excuse, and let's face it--no one was reading me anyway! But in a compulsive effort to save face, even if only with myself, here I am, writing once again.

What brought me back to my blog was actually my desire to know which Shakespeare plays I've read. I'm rating books on Goodreads.com in the hopes of finding some new literary goodies, and I couldn't for the life of me remember which of Shakespeare's plays I so eloquently reviewed all of those years ago. I'm glad to know that my effort to become more cultured and garner literary bragging rights paid off, seeing as those plays may have stayed fresh in my mind for all of a week.

A lot has happened since my Blogger disappearance, and while I made a commitment to avoid the disclosure of any personal information, an update is harmless. I'm now gainfully employed, at least for the time being, so that could be one reason for the writing hiatus. The previously mentioned boyfriend is gone and I met the love of my life who is now my husband. I finally graduated college, so I now have a BS in Public Policy (and boy is it ever BS!), and I have a new four-legged family member. Also, in June, some douche bag stole my Zune, dear readers, so you can only imagine how heartbreaking that is to me.

Reflecting on my posts from years ago has been an enlightening experience for me, I have to admit. After reading them, I can't help but feel I've somehow grown dumber since 2008. And considerably more boring. But maybe that's just a byproduct of not having as much time on my hands anymore. I find it difficult to keep up with new music, let alone have an opinion on it (oh no, is this my first foray into adulthood?!). I actually laughed out loud at some of the things I read on here, and not out of embarrassment--that girl was actually kind of funny! I don't mean to get all introspective and self-pitying, but I don't really know who that person is anymore, for better or worse.

I think when I got involved in politics, I started putting up walls to prevent the public at large from peering into my weird little head. Not that I was or ever have been anyone of note, but I think I assumed that keeping my head down and staying off the radar that I would avoid any distractions to campaigns I was working for or committees I belonged to. Unfortunately I think I tried so hard to be unassuming that now I have internalized it and lost track of the things that truly used to bring me enjoyment. You read it first here, folks; I'm done hiding and I have to get back to the art of being myself.

What is Your Ecological Footprint?

Ever since the launch of Planet Green, I've been glued to my couch, wasting energy with the tube on all day. I wonder if they were prepared for this spike in electricity usage. Anyway, like any guilty, self-hating liberal, I felt bad about what a wasteful little piggy I am, so I decided to find out what my ecological footprint is. As it turns out, we would need 4.4 planets if everyone maintained my level of environmental abuse. I'm going to work on lowering this and let you guys know how I manage to do it. I mostly need to work on what I eat, since it's the majority of it is processed junk. In all fairness, though, I would say at least 60% of my processed junk comes from the Central PA area. I also have to think about recycling and what I am going to sort. The verdict is still out on whether recycling is actually beneficial in terms of energy usage, but aluminum seems to be a safe bet at least. And Central Pennsylvanians, I hate to tell you this, but our region ranks 9th worst in the country for our carbon footprint. We need to push for more public transportation, lobby to shut down the Harrisburg incinerator, and buy more local products to cut down on the truck traffic. I would love to see the fabled train service between York and Carlisle go up already. In the meantime, take the footprint quiz and see how you fair.

Calling all Satellite Radio Listeners

I like to turn on my XM Radio boombox while I splash around the pool, and I discovered something totally delightful today. XMU, channel 43, has a show called AIRTime, (Artists in Residence), every Tuesday. For the month of June, The Black Keys are hosting, and these guys know how to make a playlist. XMU was rerunning last night's broadcast, and among the artists the bluesy duo selected were My Bloody Valentine, Joy Division, Gorillaz, Brian Eno, The Stooges, LCD Soundsystem, T. Rex, Luna, The Kinks, as well as some 60s soul, jazz, and blues that I wasn't familiar with but definitely enjoyed hearing. While I don't have anything against The Black Keys, I was surprised and impressed at our mutual affinity for 70s glam. So I recommend those of you with access to this musically delicious (almost like Lucky Charms) program to tune in next week for more musical goodies. XMU is also available through DirecTV and online. I'm not sure if it's available as a free channel over the internet, but it's almost worth paying to hear it! Happy listening!

Prank Text Messaging

As I was sitting at the table eating dinner with my family this evening, I received a text message from a number I didn't recognize. Ordinarily I would have just ignored it, but I decided to have some fun with it. Enjoy!:

7175551234: Are you going to the school physicals?
Me: What?
7175551234: Are you playing tennis this year?
Me: Yeah, and i just made the hooger team. What about you?
7175551234: Hooger team? Theres the school physicals at 6.. R u going?
Me: I've already had my hooger physical for this year
7175551234: Ooohh. Booo.

Ok, so not the most clever thing in the world, but I like to think I just made someone think that a snobby high school tennis player is high as a kite. I'm even more excited about the prospect of the person whose messages I intercepted actually showing up for the high school physical and having his or her friend ask how to try out for the hooger team.

Who's Going to Toronto? I am! (I hope)

Our friendly neighbors to the north are putting our Virgin Mobile Festival to shame again, just like they did last year. But I'm thinking, it's not a bad drive, and tickets aren't too expensive, so why the hell not?!

Also added were The Kooks, Shudder to Think, The Fratellis, The Cribs, and a few others. I've already seen Spiritualized, Oasis, Stereophonics, and unfortunately the Foo Fighters, but I'm making a pilgrimage for Weller, my Modfather. Now I just have to renew my passport. Maybe this isn't going to be as cheap as I hoped...

A Diamond What?!

I've been anticipating this one since March, and it's finally available to us Americans as of today. Yes, boys and girls, Supergrass are at it again with Diamond Hoo Ha! I haven't listened to the whole thing yet, but from what I've heard, I'm quite delighted. If you're craving the quirky early 1970s inspired mash up of glam and mod from the Grass's earlier days, though, I think you'll be disappointed with this release. If you were to put Supergrass in a 70s glam rock continuum, you could say their early days were more Cockney Rebel, but they're more on the Iggy Pop end now that they've reached adolescence (yes, Supergrass is 15 years old. Jesus Christ). Their signature ability to weave a catchy pop-tune into a rock song is still present, and this album isn't as raw as Mr. Pop by any means, but it is more narrowly a rock album than anything they have previously released. It sounds like something my dad would have listened to in high school, but that's not a bad thing. I dare say that it could easily have mass American mainstream appeal with the popularily of The Raconteurs in recent years, so we'll see what happens. It's no Life on Other Planets, but it's a good change of pace.

On a related new release note, I still haven't heard the new Coldplay. I guess since I use Microsoft and not Apple for my music, I may be waiting for a while. But that's ok. I will not break down and buy it, I will not break down and buy it, I will not break down and buy it...

One week later...

I just thought I would drop a line to let you know that I haven't gone anywhere. As I mentioned last week, I got the pool swim-ready, and on the days that it hasn't been raining, I have literally been outside splashing around and reading until the sun goes down. I've been averaging one book about every two days, and maybe at this point I'm just so consumed with someone else's words that I have none of my own. I also had a pretty insane week with my family, so I've been distracted. I'm trying to avoid my usual pitfall of divulging too much personal information in this blog, and since that really has been the only thing on my mind for the most part, it's been hard to write. That, and I think the sun has probably fried a lot of my brain cells. The utter relaxation in the sun has made me want to start writing creatively. I've been bouncing a couple of ideas around in my head, so if anything comes of that, I will be sure to keep everyone posted. I've just in a weird, listless, nostaglic kind of mood. I'll snap out of it. I'm still drunk on summer, but once the hangover ensues, I'll be back to my normal self.

Fun with Yahoo's Babel Fish

Ok, I knew I couldn't stay away very long. I'd like to share with you all a game I play online whenever I'm bored out of my mind and can't think of anything better to do. First, you take a line from a song you like (the more slang in it, the better). Next, you plug that lyric into the Yahoo! Babel Fish text translator (I usually do English to French). Then you copy the translation, paste it into the text box, and translate it back into English. What you get is a beautifully hilarious jumbled version of what the original lyric was.

My personal favorite is from Pulp's "I Spy"--"Grass is something you smoke, birds are something you shag, so take your year in Provence and shove it up your ass."

After the French translation back into English, this is what we are left with: "Turf is something which you smoke, the birds are something you shake, thus take your year in Provence and push-that to the top of your ESA."

The line was much funnier when it was run through Altavista, but the Yahoo! crew still manages to butcher it splendidly.

Also, here is the butchered translation of the opening lines to the Buzzcocks' "Orgasm Addict":
"You l' tested just for once, noted qu' well; it is well for eruptions, but you now found outside that c' is a practice which sticks. and you are a fanatic d' orgasm."

Try it out yourself. Let me know which hilarious linguistic debaucles you encounter!

Apologies

I've been a little quiet these past couple of days, but I promise I won't be for long. I've been enjoying hiding in solitude reading the Orson Scott Card Ender series, but once I'm finished frolicking with dorkdom, there will be more of my political lamentations and oddball miscellany. I've finally gotten my pool to swim-ready status, too, so I'll be working on not looking like a shut-in that blogs all day and reads sci-fi in her spare time. But until next post, ladies and gents, I wish you happiness in your own adventures, whatever they may be.

Fluffy Post

In light of my recent angry posts, tonight/this morning I have decided to forget about the big, ugly world out there and take you all on a video-filled journey through the world of Neil Hannon and The Divine Comedy. May music warm your souls, my friends. Goodnight!

This video alone demonstrates why this is my favorite band. It's silly, it's smart, it's catchy. Perfect. "Trafalgar" was written as a joke of sorts, in Neil Hannon's attempt to show BBC viewers how to compose a perfect Eurovision song:

The next clip is taken from the Father Ted episode 'Song for Ireland.' The song was in reality composed by Neil Hannon, but in the episode, Fathers Ted & Dougal came up with this ditty to win the Eurovision song contest for Ireland. The "My Lovely Horse" video comes to us courtesy of Father Dougal's fucked-up dreams. I've seen this countless times, but I can't stop laughing at the psychedlic horse head at the end of the video:

The next song is a cover of a rock song that was very popular a few years back. When I saw The Divine Comedy in 2004, Neil told us this exact same story as he's going to tell in the video. I was thrilled (the brooding gaze... the cheek bones... it kills me). I don't want to ruin the "punchline," so check it out and enjoy:

Finally, this song is the culmination of everything this band is. "Tonight We Fly" is arguably one of the most beautiful pop songs ever composed, and I am putting it in writing that it's to be played at my funeral, right after the champagne flutes and cigarettes are handed out. 'This life is the best we've ever had':

Political Roundup

Headlines from Democracy Now!:

-Scott McLellan stated that President Bush admitted to being the one who authorized the leak of CIA operative Valerie Plame's name to the press. Boys and girls, that is treason. I'm not calling for a hanging, but can we at least get an impeachment? Surely treason would warrant it if a blowjob does. If Dick Cheney weren't Vice President, this asshole would have been out of office years ago. I think everyone is too terrified to go after Bush because that would mean President Cheney. Admittedly, there is some sound reasoning to that. I think that was their evil plan all along.

-Experts predict that food prices will continue to rise. About one month ago, however, Democracy Now also reported that agricultural firms posted record profits last quarter. How have their profits increased if food prices have increased? One would expect increased revenue, but not profit. People are struggling here in the States, but it's nothing compared to the devestation these prices have had in Eastern Africa. If these companies are manipulating the market through price gouging, they need to be held accountable. People are dying to the tune of 40,ooo a day because they can't get enough to eat. How much is greed responsible for those deaths? I'm not an economist obviously, so if I'm misguided on this issue, please correct me; I'm genuinely baffled.

-A group of American activists were convicted for protesting Gitmo. 34 activists will spend up to
60 days in prison for participating in a January 11 demonstration. See guys, it's not hard to hold a trial. Just do the same for the prisoners in Guantanamo, and you won't have to try any more protestors.

While I'm on the Subject of Advertising...

This is some of the most ridiculous bullshit I've read in the recent past:

Rachel Ray is a jihadist?

When will we stop cowering to right-wing nutjobs?

Chris Martin, You Actually Have Turned into Bono.

As I was watching tonight's episode of Top Chef and reading Ender's Game during the commercial break, my ears were delighted to hear a new Coldplay song, but my eyes were distressed at what they witnessed:



And compare that to this:



Some of you may be wondering what the problem is. Allow me to explain. About six years ago in an interview on MTV2, Chris Martin said that you would never see them in commercials supporting corporations. He used Pepsi as an example, but really, what's the difference between Pepsi and Apple when it comes down to it? Some could argue that the commercial isn't an Apple commercial, it's a Coldplay one, but I would beg to differ. Coldplay doesn't need commercials; that's what the radio is supposedly for. I always thought Chris Martin naming his daughter Apple wasn't a reference to the corporation, but maybe I'm mistaken and they're repaying the favor. Either way, I'm incredibly disappointed in the hypocrisy. Chris Martin is an outspoken advocate of Fair Trade and environmentalism, yet Apple rates last on Greenpeace's list of electronics companies with acceptable levels of toxins in their products. Some of these toxins contribute to global warming, not to mention that Apple has no reusing or recycling procedure in place for its products. And speaking of Fair Trade, Apple is being investigated for using sweat shop labor in China to manufacture its iPods! Chris, Chris, Chris!

Someone recently complained to me that the new Coldplay single "Violet Hill" sounds too much like U2. I vehemently disagreed with this observation, and I still stand by it. I do think, however, a more fair assessment would be, "Chris Martin is too much like Bono." You can't support the cause of the exploited and sleep with the exploiter, something Bono does far too often. It's a shame, because I really like the two new Coldplay songs I've heard. I think I'll just have to download the album illegally when it comes out. Afterall, they won't need my money anyway after selling their souls to Steve Jobs.

Top Chef Vengeance